AWARD CEREMONIES

HOW TO WIN (AND LOSE) AWARDS WITHOUT EMBARRASSING YOURSELF

Anna Dobbie considers the etiquette around being a humble winner, and accepting with dignity when it’s just not your night.

There is something about an awards night that manages to combine high glamour with low emotional tolerance. Beautiful gowns, polished speeches, tight smiles, curated humility and, occasionally, a mini diva strop. We can’t blame it solely on the bubbles.

We tell ourselves that awards are about honouring achievement, but in practice, they can also be about ego, validation and the intrinsically human discomfort of not hearing one’s own name read aloud. The etiquette around all of this is, in theory, obvious, but sometimes real life doesn’t play out that way.

Let us begin with an uncomfortable truth: most people who enter, and even those who are shortlisted for an award, will not win.

“I think people know how they should behave, especially as we are all grown-ups,” says The Aesthetic Consultant Vanessa Bird. “However, for some high achievers who perhaps aren’t used to ‘failing,’ it is a very uncomfortable feeling, and they don’t have the skills to handle it, so they leave immediately.”

Imagine, for a moment, if the rule were that after each category was announced, all unsuccessful finalists were politely ushered out of the room. “There would be uproar, and we would say it’s ridiculous,” she adds.

‘LOSING’ WITHOUT THEATRICS

Not winning is not, strictly speaking, losing. You might still be recognised as excellent, but not the most excellent on that specific evening, in that particular room, judged on that particular category and submission.

“I would say that not winning is not losing either,” says consultant nurse practitioner Tracey Dennison. “I don’t get why we can’t just support each other regardless.”

Disappointment is one (entirely reasonable) thing, but public sulking is another.

Awards are emotional because people invest heavily in their work, their teams and their submissions. “It is completely understandable to feel disappointed if you do not win,” Dr Anna Hemming, founder of Thames Skin Clinic, reflects. “What matters is how you manage that disappointment publicly.”

The judging process itself can add to the frustration. As Bird, who has been on various judging panels for several years, explains, “We can’t judge based on what we ‘know’. We judge on the entry quality and the interview. It can be hard to score low when you know someone is great, yet they didn’t perform well. But it’s how we judge.”

Which brings Bird to a useful, if slightly blunt, piece of advice: “If you know you won’t be able to handle not winning, maybe don’t enter?”

For everyone else, the guidance is simple. Congratulate the winner. Mean it, or at least perform it convincingly. Resist the urge to explain, loudly and at length, why the judges were wrong. The room is rarely sympathetic, and memories in the sector are long.

As Dennison plainly states, “if you can’t behave, just don’t go.”

TRIUMPHING WITHOUT BEING INSUFFERABLE

Winning, too, has its pitfalls. The ideal response entails warmth, gratitude and a passing acknowledgement that other people exist.

“If you win, be gracious,” says Dr Hemming. “Celebrate with goodwill, acknowledge the other finalists, thank the people who helped you get there, and use the platform positively.”

It is also worth remembering that a win can be diminished not only by the behaviour of the winner, but by the behaviour of others. “What is really upsetting is when poor behaviour or comments put the winner down and take the shine off their moment,” Dr Hemming notes. “That person may have worked for years to reach that point, and they deserve to enjoy it.”

She describes witnessing exactly that scenario: “It really upset the winner, who should have been excited and elevated. Unfortunately, a sector colleague ruined her moment to shine.”

WHAT ARE WE ACTUALLY CHASING?

But what role do awards play in aesthetic medicine?

“There are so many behaviours now that show our career building blocks are heavily invested into awards and glossy mags,” nurse prescriber and BAMAN chair Amy Bird observes. When external validation becomes the metric of success, professional identity can become fragile, and diva behaviour is soon to follow.

“I think a lot of this comes down to what success means,” functional medicine doctor and former NHS surgeon Dr Mayoni Gootneratne reflects, “and how we have been taught as children and young adults to deal with ‘failures’. As a mum who has stood and watched many sports days where everyone is given a medal for just taking part, I think we are blunting the early experience of not winning a race.”

“It’s ok not to be good at everything, but everyone is good at something. The joy in life is finding that ‘thing’ and being so clear on it that you can only ever ‘succeed’.”

Dr Gootneratne adds that clinicians are forever in pursuit of the next qualification, process, device or treatment: “It’s time to stop chasing and just excel at who we are. It’s why patients come to us. For being authentic and just bloody passionate, and there are enough patients for everyone.”

MAINTAINING PERSPECTIVE

Dr Gootneratne believes that we learn from losing: “All ‘failures’ are just data – a sign that something else needs to be tweaked or changed.”

In this way, not winning becomes feedback, rather than judgement: useful, if not always welcome.

Equally, being a finalist is still a great achievement, as Dr Hemming points out: “It means you are doing something right, your work has been recognised, and you are part of a group setting the standard in the industry.” Winning, as she put it, “is another level of recognition, but it does not diminish the other finalists.”

A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR BETTER BEHAVIOUR

If a formal code of conduct for awards evenings feels excessive, a few informal principles would suffice:

Enter with realistic expectations. Prepare properly. If you win, be gracious. If you do not, be equally gracious. Do not undermine someone else’s moment.

Or, as nurse practitioner Jen Vittanuova puts it, “behave gracefully, and congratulate that person genuinely, and then start your plan on how you win next time.”

Dr Hemming adds that “people remember how you behave far longer than they remember the result.”

Awards should elevate the profession, not expose its worst instincts. A bit of emotional maturity goes a long way.