WOMEN IN AESTHETIC MEDICINE
PROFESSIONAL JEALOUSY
Vicky Eldridge asks, how can we raise each other up as women in aesthetics?
We’ve all been there. You’re scrolling on LinkedIn or Instagram and a post comes up. A female peer has been chosen for a coveted speaker slot at a major conference. She’s launching a new clinic that’s getting attention. She’s been shortlisted for an award. She has been featured in a magazine.
You pause. Even if you respect her and know she works hard, you may feel that slight pang of resentment. Of professional jealousy. It’s not that you aren’t happy for her, it’s just that you also wanted that opportunity.
In a sector where many women are leading the way, this is a conversation we rarely like to admit out loud: sometimes we compete more than we collaborate.
ENOUGH TO GO AROUND?
Aesthetics is one of the few sectors in medicine where women make up the majority of the workforce. We are founders, injectors, innovators, educators, entrepreneurs and business owners.
Collectively, we are a force to be reckoned with, but as WIAM has previously explored, leadership spaces, keynote slots, advisory boards and high-profile partnerships still feel limited. The result? Compare and despair rears its ugly head.
And social media amplifies this. Every launch, every media feature, every clinic renovation is broadcast for all to see. Other people’s careers and successes may seem glossier and more successful than our own. But feeling the pang of professional jealousy doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human.
The problem isn’t the feeling. It’s what we do with it.
“HORIZONTAL HOSTILITY”
There’s a term used in organisational psychology: “horizontal hostility”. It describes conflict or undermining behaviour between members of the same group, often in environments where external power structures limit advancement.
Instead of challenging the system, frustration is redirected sideways.
In aesthetics, that can manifest as gossip, withholding opportunities or information from peers, being publicly supportive while criticising someone behind their back, questioning someone’s success as luck, privilege, or favouritism, and even subtle social exclusion.
Much of this is unconscious rather than malicious, but it kills collaboration and sets women against each other.
WHY IT CAN FEEL AMPLIFIED FOR WOMEN
Let’s be clear: professional jealousy and competition are not uniquely female traits. Men experience them too – often just as intensely, and sometimes more overtly.
However, in a female-dominated sector like aesthetics, layered with historic gender bias, perfectionism and social conditioning around being “nice”, these dynamics can feel more emotionally charged and relational.
In previous WIAM articles, we have explored imposter syndrome, emotional burnout and the invisible mental load so many women carry.
Many of us have been conditioned to be agreeable rather than assertive. We fear being labelled difficult, competitive or arrogant if we speak out or put ourselves forward. At the same time, we often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, driven by internalised perfectionism.
So when another woman rises, instead of simply applauding her, it can quietly trigger the question, why not me?
But here’s the truth: someone else’s success does not diminish yours.
I follow spiritual teacher Gabby Bernstein, and one of the most powerful lessons I’ve taken from her is this: when you see someone else with what you desire, it is “driftwood”. A sign it’s possible. Proof that the opportunity exists. Because someone else having something doesn’t mean there is less available for you. It means there is more evidence of what is achievable.
That shift in perspective can be life-changing.
THE COST OF TEARING EACH OTHER DOWN
The market is tough right now. Competition is high, margins are tight, and regulatory uncertainty is still hanging in the air. Public scrutiny of our sector is intensifying. In this climate, trust matters more than ever. If we want to strengthen the reputation of aesthetics as a profession, we must present a united front rather than a fragmented one.
When women quietly undermine each other, innovation stalls. Psychological safety erodes. Burnout increases. Stress compounds.
In contrast, when we genuinely support and celebrate one another, it is incredibly powerful. I witnessed this at the recent Menopause Awards, where there was visible emotion in the room as women came together to champion other women. We need more of that. More celebration. More mentorship. More collaboration.
LIFT AS YOU CLIMB
Supporting one another is not only the responsibility of those watching from the sidelines. It is also the responsibility of those who are succeeding.
If you are the one on the stage, shortlisted for the award, launching the clinic or growing quickly, there is power in looking around and asking, who can I bring with me?
Lifting as you climb means sharing opportunities, mentoring generously, acknowledging the people who helped you and making space for emerging voices. It might mean:
• Recommending another practitioner for a panel when you cannot attend
• Sharing credit publicly and consistently
• Referring patients when someone else is better placed
• Mentoring without gatekeeping
• Congratulating without qualification
• Addressing concerns directly, not through whisper networks.
This doesn’t mean ignoring poor practice or legitimate safeguarding concerns. We still need professional accountability, but being kinder to each other starts in group chats, on social media and with how we speak about women who are not in the room.
If you feel tempted to speak about someone who isn’t there, remember Rumi’s words: pass it through three gates – Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If the answer is no, take a breath.
So the next time a colleague succeeds, pause. Let yourself feel whatever you feel and then send the message, write the comment, or offer the support if that feels aligned. Because there’s not just space for one woman at the table; we can all take a seat, but we need to start pulling those seats out for each other. aestheticmed.co.uk